2009 Was Not a Good Year

Mind you, there have been worse years. But it was difficult to lose my job. I do office work because I'm good at it, and it pays bills, and it generally brings things like a 401k and health insurance to me as well.

I don't particularly like office work, unless I particularly like the people I work with. I did like those people, from the workers in the factory to the CEO. I didn't fit in (I seldom do, unless I'm in a theatre or at some big Art Deco function) but people usually enjoy having an Office Misfit, if he or she is colorful and gives them something harmless to gossip about.

Still hurts to have lost that job. Granted, nearly no one keeps a job for many years at a time these days, but I still felt I belonged, in some fashion.

My husband and I have been lucky, partly due to the job I had and the perks I got, even more due to his foresight and habit of keeping an eye on the housing market. We still have medical, if not dental, and money in the bank. We're still able to go out (though far less frequently) and we can buy some luxuries.

Our families are still doing pretty well, and most of our friends are hanging in there, too.

It's the worry that gets to me. When you're in your teens and twenties it just doesn't, as a rule, stick in the same way. At forty and beyond, you're tired of starting over (and over) and you hope that some of the things you've done will pay off already and it doesn't quite work that way, if only because in middle age you know what can happen from personal experience.

However, you also know that even when things are difficult you can pick up the pieces; you've done it before. So do it again, already, and stop kvetching.

Time to move on.